10 Fun Nicotine-Fueled Facts About Life, Death, and Stupidity

This is a tobacco substitute made of coffee.  How cool is that?

This is a tobacco substitute made of coffee. How cool is that?

I gave up snus on 8/29.  I’m on day 18 without nicotine and my brain chemistry is still jacked all to hell. I have no focus, my sense of time is skewed, and all I want to do is sleep.

And that’s an improvement.  Thank heaven I’ve moved beyond the stage that I like to call the “Wouldn’t It Be Nice To Strangle Something Beautiful and Watch It Die Stage.”

They say it can take up to six months for brain chemistry to normalize after quitting nicotine.


Anyway, I usually find “fun facts” and other internet dribble a complete bore.  But, perhaps owing to the altered brain chemistry aforementioned, I was very entertained by the gunk I have pasted below.

Worry not.  My head will be back to normal soon and I’ll be posting interesting, original content once more.  Wait a minute, I wasn’t normal before, so maybe I won’t be normal soon.  But I’ll probably be back to what passes for normal on my cockeyed spectrum.  I hope that’ll do.


  1. Death is the No. 1 killer in the world.
  2. Life is sexually transmitted.
  3. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  4. Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
  5. Give someone a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach them to use the Internet and they will not bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
  6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
  7. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  8. In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it look normal.
  9. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.
  10. “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” ~Alexander Dumas, fils

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