Category Archives: Writing

Camo – Guns = Tie Dye

Posted on June 18, 2014 | 1 comment

What’s the difference between a prepper and a hippie? Guns. Take the guns away from the average prepper and what you have is a hippie. And I think I can prove it.

The Top Ten Things Preppers and Hippies Have in Common

  1. The end of the world.  Preppers think it’s going to be solar flares, the collapse of the dollar, terrorism, nuclear war, contagion, etc. Hippies think it’s going to climate change, pollution, or species collapse. Sometimes they even agree — remember the whole 2012 thing?
  2. Pot.  Apparently both groups like their weed and they want it legalized.
  3. “The man” can’t be trusted.  They both have anti-authoritarian views and dislike and/or distrust the government.
  4. Favorite magazine: The Mother Earth News.  Whether to call it “back to the land” or “living off the grid” it’s all the same darn thing. Both groups practice alternative lifestyles based on self sufficiency and/or sustainability.
  5. DIY and getting things done on the cheap. The ultimate way to sneer at a hippie was once to say he or she got a college degree in Basket Weaving. Now look — the preppers are weaving baskets, making pottery, reducing, reusing, and recycling like mad.
  6. Hardcore spirituality. With the preppers it’s usually Jesus, evangelical-style. With the hippies it can be Jesus too, but then again it might Gaia, Buddha, the Goddess, Brahma…
  7. Footwear.  Whether its boots or Birkenstocks, hippies and preppers have very intense feelings about what should be worn on the human foot.
  8. Language.  They both have their own special words and catch phrases. Preppers have TEOTWAWKI , WTSHTF, and YOYO. Hippies have MLNW and TOTIDO.
  9. Housing.  What hippies call “earth ships” preppers call “bomb shelters.”  The only difference is that earth ships don’t usually have gun slits.
  10. Vehicles.  Hippies have their Volkswagen Buses, Mystery Machines, psychedelically painted cars, and drivable art projects for Burning Man.  Preppers have their tricked out bug-out vehicles, Hummers, Jeeps, and military surplus rides.  The only difference is — you guessed it — hippie vehicles don’t usually have gun slits.

1 Comment

Posted in Writing

Tagged ,

Radioactive Robot

Posted on June 17, 2014 | Leave a comment

image

5 x 7 acrylic on canvas with custom frame both by yours truly. The only way to get it is to come to DC Zinefest.

The only question is, what should the price tag be?

Leave a comment

Posted in Writing

Tagged , , ,

A Very Firefly Father’s Day

Posted on June 16, 2014 | 1 comment
image

My Father’s Day Gifts: Firefly t-shirt, book, and DVD set.

That’s how you know your family loves you — not when they buy you stuff, but they buy you stuff even when they know you’re going to drive them crazy with said stuff.  My family is going to be seeing a lot of that shirt, is going to have to put up with me wanted to monopolize the TV with the DVDs, and is going to have several hours of trouble getting my attention because my nose is stuck in this book.

1 Comment

Posted in Writing

Tagged , ,

Boka Kantina Review

Posted on June 13, 2014 | Leave a comment

Last Saturday night I ate at Boka Kantina and it rocked.  I opened with the crab rangoon which were stellar — crispy and creamy, with a sauce that was out of this world.  The Asian taco with kimchi was the standout on my plate.  The Mexican, although it was the weakest link, was still very good.

I’m not a foodie, so don’t ask me to break this all down like some fancy critic.   Let’s just say this place is different.  Original, counter-intuitive combinations abound on their funky menu.  I mean, who puts watermelon on a taco?  Well I had a bite of my daughter’s fish taco with watermelon, and it was outstanding.  I don’t know how they make these combinations work, but they do.

What you need to know before you go:  Service was super, atmosphere relaxed, music loud enough to hear without making it hard to talk.  I found their stuff to be hot enough to have some zip, but not hot enough to put off most folks.   They like the truffle oil and the ginger, so if you don’t like either, options will be limited.   Our meal ran $50 for three people including tip.  They do not serve coffee, or at least it’s not on the menu, which was the only negative for me.

Leave a comment

Posted in Martial arts, Mysticism, Writing

Tagged , ,

Personal Appearances 2014

Posted on June 12, 2014 | Leave a comment

If you’d like to meet me in person and check out some of my real world merchandise, you’ll have two chances this year:

  • On Saturday August 9th I will be tabling at DC Zinefest  in our nation’s capital.  This will be my first time at at this event.  Come and see me, mention this post, and I’ll give you 50% off on whatever you buy.
  • On Saturday October 4th I will once again be tabling at RVA Zinefest in Richmond, VA.  In addition to manning my table I usually lead a workshop related to the writer’s craft as well.  This is a super event, always fun.

If you’d like to do more than shake my hand or get an autograph, you can come and train with me any time you like.  Simply stop by any Tuesday or Saturday and work out with my club — details here.

Leave a comment

Posted in Martial arts, Writing

Tagged ,

Tarzan? Tarzan!

Posted on June 11, 2014 | 2 comments

Courtesy of Wikipedia

With anxiety and anticipation I have learned that a new Tarzan movie is coming in 2016 — and that Tarzan will be played by none other than Alexander Skarsgård.  I say ‘anticipation’ because I love Tarzan (and Skarsgård).  But I say ‘anxiety’ because I fear another disastrous treatment.

Tarzan adaptations fall apart for two primary reasons:

1) Tarzan movies always miss the point.  Every writing and directing team who makes the attempt to adapt Tarzan to the screen thinks they can make it better.  In the process they lose track of Burrough’s message, which is simply this: “You can put a hero into the jungle, but you can’t put the jungle into a hero.”  The jungle has not turned him into an animal, but rather it has released him from social conventions and allowed him to manifest his natural self.

Tarzan demonstrates the inherent nobility of man, not the ape that is inside us all.  While Tarzan can be bestial, and is capable of all manner of savagery in defense of himself and those he loves, he remains kind, decent, fair, and devoted.  Being raised by apes has transformed him physically, allowing him to tap into his primal power when needed.  But, unlike the villains he faces, he never surrenders himself to base instincts.

2) Tarzan movies are always way too tame.   In the very first book Tarzan gets his scalp half torn off by the ape Terkoz and earns a scar that starts above his left eye, runs up his forehead and across the top of his head, and ends at the right ear.  When he gets enraged it stands out on his forehead, purple and white on his tanned skin.  He’s an intense and scary guy, a brutal adversary.   In Chapter 3 of The Return of Tarzan there is a horrific fight in the apartments of the Rue Maule.  Tarzan snaps one attacker’s wrist, dislocates the shoulder of another, and bites out a third assassin’s throat.  I really don’t see how you could make a faithful Tarzan adaptation without an “R” rating.

Hopefully this thing won’t suck.  But I have to tell you, I’m not getting my hopes up.

2 Comments

Posted in Writing

Tagged ,

Pre-order my New Book and Get Free Stuff

Posted on June 9, 2014 | 2 comments

The 14th Mansion — Available July 1st 2014!

You should go and pre-order my upcoming horror and occult mystery thriller The 14th Mansion right now.  Why?  Because it’s good.  But, if you need a better reason than that, I’ll give you free stuff.

The way I see it, you blog-follower-pre-ordery-type people are my most loyal fans, so I should do something nice for you, right?

All you have to do is go pre-order the book by clicking one of the links at the bottom of this post and then make a comment below.  Make sure you check the box that allows you to follow subsequent comments.  On release day — July 1st — I’ll post a coupon code in the comments of this post that will allow you to download the other two books in the series free at Smashwords.com!  If you’re such a hardcore fan that you’ve already read the other two, just say so and I’ll send you an envelope full of real live actual ‘zines — booklets, short stories, and other print items written by yours truly that you can’t get any other way (unless of course you run into me at Richmond Zinefest or if you come to DC Zinefest this August).

Are you still here?  What are you waiting for?  Here are links to the most popular places you can pre-order The 14th Mansion.

Smashwords Pre-order page

Barnes and Noble Pre-order page

Baker & Taylor Blio Pre-order page

Flipkart Pre-order page

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments

Posted in Writing

Tagged , ,

Art!

Posted on June 1, 2014 | Leave a comment
This is called "art!" For my first large, graffiti-style piece, it doesn't stink too bad.

This is called “art!” For my first large, graffiti-style piece, it doesn’t stink too bad.  It would’ve been much better if the white paint can hadn’t clogged.  Bummer.

Normally I spend Sunday mornings writing blog posts for the week.  Not today.  I decided to make art.

I often draw and paint (acrylics mostly), but I’ve always wanted to try my hand with spray paints.  You know, graffiti-style.  So I did.

Unfortunately the only can of white paint I had around the house got clogged.  I didn’t bother to run to the store for a new can.  This was supposed to be quick, spontaneous, and fun, not some major project.  It ain’t perfect, but it is what it was supposed to be.  Making the video and writing this post took longer than making the piece.  And it was a blast.

If you want to watch me paint it, I’ve included the video below.

http://youtu.be/LugKwlHChNQ

 

Leave a comment

Posted in Martial arts, Mysticism, Writing

Tagged ,

Firefly Cargo Boxes

Posted on May 27, 2014 | 1 comment

wpid-20140526_182743.jpgI’m always working and doing things according to the plan.  Sometimes I’m such a freak about my goals — writing goals, workout goals, fitness goals, personal goals, business goals — that I forget to take a break.  Not this weekend.  I decided to do a fun art project on my extra day off.

I got the idea last week.  Someone at the office was talking about being a massive Dr. Who fan, and about costuming.  I mentioned that, if I was going to fall through the costuming rabbit hole again (which I’m not) I’d be a Browncoat.  Firefly is in a dead heat with Star Trek (the original) as my favorite TV show of all time.

Anyway, I had some wine crates sitting around and I decided to make some Firefly-inspired cargo boxes to put next to my favorite chair.  Here’s how I did it.

One of the boxes is supposed to be an Independence ammo box, so  I glued and screwed a strips across the top and bottom to give it that WWII ammo box look.  Then I gave both boxes a coat of mud brown paint inside and out to seal them and hide markings and defects.

While that was drying I started distressing the hardware.  You can’t have shiny new hardware on boxes that are supposed to look used!  I put them in a bath of 50/50 water and bleach and boiled them for about 25 minutes.  If you try this, do it outside, be very careful, and use an old pan or a glass one.

The ammo box got a coat of green paint.  While that was drying, I started making stencils so that I could paint on “CARGO,” some random digits, the blue star, and so forth.  The other box I left brown.

Next  came the painting of the details and the hardware installation.  I used spray paint and masking tape.  I also found some cool decals online (thanks to all of the other Firefly fans who did the graphic design!).  I printed those and put them on with a glue stick.  I didn’t have time yesterday, but next weekend I’m going to use a dirty rag and some sandpaper to add a more distressed look.

These are actually really sturdy boxes — they were meant to hold heavy wine bottles after all — so I figure I’ll probably use them when I need to haul stuff to zinefests and what-not.

Sometimes you have to relax and nerd-out.  It’s good for the soul.  Look, these things were fun, and they add a nice touch to my relaxing spot.

 

 

1 Comment

Posted in Martial arts, Mysticism, Writing

Tagged , , ,

Bite Off More Than You Can Chew

Posted on May 16, 2014 | Leave a comment
image

This time Finn may have bitten off more than he can chew.

There’s a lot to be said for biting off more than you can chew.

I’ve done that lately, and although it has caused me to be just a little too busy to blog the way I used to, I’ve gotten so much done: thousands of words written, quarts of sweat shed working out, and so on.  I’m looking at what I’ve achieved and thinking, “How the hell did I get all that done?”

I was setting goals the other day, putting deadlines in my planner and so on, and for a brief moment I thought, ‘some of these dates are a little aggressive.’ And then I thought, ‘aggressive is good.’  If I set a goal that’s twice what any reasonable person would believe achievable, and I fall short by 10%, then I’ve still achieved 190%.  But if I hit the goal I’ve achieved the impossible.

Why don’t you give it a try?  Here are a few choice quotes to inspire you to bite off more than you can chew:

“The best sauce in the world is hunger.” ~Cervantes

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”  ~Napoloeon Hill

“What is the beautiful if not the impossible.”  ~Gustave Flaubert

“Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.”  ~Thomas Edison

“If it was easy, anybody could do it.”  ~Old Proverb

“To infinity and beyond!”  ~Buzz Lightyear

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Posted in Martial arts, Mysticism, Writing

Tagged , , , ,