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I teach free of charge through Heritage Arts , a 501(c)(3) educational charity offering free or donation-only classes related to martial arts, fitness, outdoor skills, and spiritual development. Distance learning programs available. Visit the Heritage Arts website to find out more, or click here to join the Heritage Self-Defense group on Facebook.

What is Heritage Rough ‘n’ Tumble? It’s mind-body-spirit form of American Rough ‘n’ Tumble, which began as a manner of no-holds-barred fighting in the Southern Virginia backcountry during the Colonial Era and has since grown, evolved, and adapted to the realities of modern self-defense. An amalgam of the varying techniques brought to America by colonists from all over the world, blended with the fighting methods of the over 900 distinct indigenous tribes, American Rough ‘n’ Tumble is perhaps the world’s most fearsome martial art.
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Category Archives: Writing
ImageHey Disinfo, I Said that Four Months Ago

Graphic from Disinfo.com. By the way, you guys rock. Click the pic to go there and read the article.
I just read Disinfo’s article “What do Occupy and the Tea Party have in common?” and threw up my hands. Why? Cause I said this four months ago in this article entitled “Camo – Guns = Tie Dye.” Well, not exactly. Think of my article as the prequel.
But I thought all of things that Disinfo said, I just didn’t write it because at the time I wanted to write a humorous article. I’ve been saying all of this to friends (and anybody else who’ll listen) since Occupy started.
So if Occupy and the Tea Party — the most influential movements of the Left and Right — agree on these six points, why can’t we get these six things done? Because they all run afoul of Big Money Politics. There’s no way anything is getting done that crosses the Fortune 500.
Politicians who depend on corporate money to fund campaigns will not bite the hands that feed them. Simple, sad, and true.
Wiki Builders, Feel My Pain (a.k.a. “My Wiki Hell”)
Over the past couple of years I’ve managed to create a pretty extensive wiki. Last month my hosts over at Wikispaces decided they only want educational wikis. Although I think my wiki is pretty educational, what they mean by “educational” is wikis for students and teachers and stuff.
Basically they told me to scram. Beat it. Get lost.
So I started looking at other free hosting options. There were lots. But what I found out — to my shock, horror, disgust, and complete, unadulterated FURY — was that the format used by Wikispaces is not compatible with, and therefore cannot be imported into, any other free wiki platform on the market. Which means I have to manually copy and paste all of the pages, insert new links, etc. etc. and so forth.
“You have got to be f***ing kidding me,” I said, followed by a swirling vortex of extreme swearing so severe and intense that it resulted in the formation of a wormhole. I know that I entered a wormhole because I said every curse word I know, have known, or ever will know in every possible universe.
I’ll Review Your Zine
If you’d like for me to review your zine (or other independently published book, booklet, etc.) mail a promotional copy to me at:
Robert Mitchell, P.O. Box 1322, Glen Allen, VA 23060-1322
My sainted father said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” I think that was good advice. So I don’t write bad reviews. If I don’t like your zine, I just won’t review it. That way there’s no bad karma, no negativity, and no assiness. Makes sense, right?
Here’s a slideshow featuring some of my stuff, all available at PTDICE.com
I now have an #Amazon author profile.
I now have an #Amazon author profile. Now all I need are some sales. Can I get a little help with that? …http://ow.ly/CNCaF
Posted in Writing
Moroccan Majadra with Beef Recipe
It’s been awhile since I posted one of my 4-ingredients-or-less recipes, so here’s one for you — an aromatic little beauty for people who (like me) get sick and tired of the same old flavors.
If you are eating on the CUT! program, this one is okay for Stages 1 and 2 (Okay at Stage 3 if you remove the rice).
Moroccan Majadra with Beef
1 lb ground beef chuck, cooked in crumbles and drained
1/2 cup lentils (dry volume)
1/4 cup brown rice (dry volume)
1 1/4 cup green peas (cooked volume)
“Moroccan Cobra” spice mix (1/2 teaspoon or more, to taste)
Salt to taste
Cook lentils, brown rice, and peas per package directions. Drain any remaining water. Brown burger until cooked thoroughly and drain fat. Combine everything, while still hot, in a large skillet over low heat. Sprinkle on Moroccan spice mix and salt, stir, mix, and generally shuffle it around until it’s piping hot. Serve it in a bowl garnished with a sprig of mint (if desired). Makes 5 servings. Nutrition facts: Calories (281), Protein (25), Fat (11), Carbs (20), Fiber (6).
“Moroccan Cobra” spice mix
To make my “Moroccan Cobra” spice mix, combine equal parts of the following ground spices: cardamom, nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, and black pepper.
RVA Zinefest 2014 Zine Reviews
RVA Zinefest 2014 was my best zinefest to date, primarily because I scored a couple of firsts: it was the first zinefest at which I actually made a small profit and it was the first zinefest at which someone came up to me and said, “Aren’t you Robert Mitchell? Could you autograph this zine?”
But this post isn’t about me, it’s about all of the really cool zines I picked up this year. NOTE: All of the titles link to the authors’ web shops or profies so you can buy copies. If you want to buy copies of my zines, browse to PTDICE.com.
Genius (Love) and Minutiae No. 4 by Aijung Kim
Aijung Kim is (besides being a really cool person) a very talented artist with a unique sensibility. I always love her stuff. This year she traded me for two of her mini-zines because I just have a thing for the really small ones. Genius (Love) is an illustrated prose poem “for the full-hearted, broken-hearted, & those who are mending.” It is touching, sincere, and beautiful to look at and hold in your hands. Even in a tiny zine like this, Aijung takes the time to add a little touch — a tiny heart insert on the last page. (A+) Minutiae No.4 is a collection of somewhat random thoughts and observations. It is 14 tiny pages of cuteness and humor with a few dead centipedes and toads thrown in for contrast. Loved it. (A)
All three of these free zines (reprints from the 80’s) are in the classic gonzo comic mold, so if that’s your cuppa tea, you dig ’em. For the most part they are funny, light, and entertaining, although there is the occasional breakthrough into the unsettling and incisive. In Caio Frau there is a one-page story called “Larry the Leper meets Dog*God” that is brilliant. You could write a friggin’ term paper on this thing! Sorry Ralf, have to take points off for some of your panels being just a little too small to read easily. It’d be great if these were 1/2 sheets instead 1/4 sheets. (A-)
Fragments of Karnage #365 and Calm Down by Mo Karnage (and friends)
First off, I’m just a tourist and sympathizer who sometimes steps into the leftist/anarchist/communist community to write prisoner support letters, deliver material support to protesters, or teach free self-defense seminars to activists. I’m not at all qualified to critique movements and their approaches. So all I can say about Calm Down is that it makes tons of common sense, is fun to read, and demonstrates the ever-increasing wisdom and maturity of Mo Karnage (a.k.a. “the hardest-working human in the anarchy business”). (A). Blending haiku (some funny, some touching) and prose, and mixing the personal, social, and political, Fragments of Karnage is classic Mo: under-produced, emphasis on content over sizzle, minimal, and to-the-point. It’s all good, but the section “Need a man” is brilliant, and the comments on open carry of firearms are insightful and smart. (A+)
Sale into the 90s by Anita Rose
I’m pretty sure this 24-page 1/2 size zine violates about a hundred copyrights. That said, it’s super fun to browse the old store ads, screen shots from TV shows, and snippets from newspapers and magazines, all dating back to the 90’s. I especially have a soft spot for Matlock, which earns a full page spread. You go girl! Classic, hodgepodge, cut’n’paste zinester goodnes (24 pages, 1/2 sheet, center-glued). (B+)
Prow: Prothonotary Warbler by Hannah Huddle
Um, wow. I got a chance to meet Hannah when I got her zine. Now that I’ve read it I can say that the zine makes as great an impression as she did. Her art is excellent, and the content really makes you understand the the complexity and importance of studying these increasingly rare birds. This a great zine, and not just for “bird nerds.” After I read it I went to Hannah’s website and spent a half hour browsing. 1/2 sheet, center-stapled booklet. (A+)
Heirloom #2 by Cristina Isabellugo
This classic zine (40 pages, 1/2 sheet, center-sewed, B&W) is anything but typical. The writing is superb (“I was reading a book under a dim orange lamp light, letting the crystals cast long shadows onto my forearm.”) and the artwork matches the mood and style perfectly. It is intimate but not self-pitying, personal but not sappy. Reading this one leaves you feeling like you’ve made a dear friend, like you want to give her a call and have coffee, like you want to see how she’s doing or mail her a card. Loved it. (A+)
This pink, quad-fold, 1/8 sheet zine is a tiny gem. “Electricity humming/to the bugs singing/heat lightning dancing.” Would love to see other stuff she’s done but I couldn’t find a link to a shop, just a link to her Facebook page. Good job Mara, dig your zine. (A)
I Love Bad Movies Vol. 6: The Food Issue edited by Kseniya Yarosh and Matt Carman
Okay, I love bad movies, and this is one of my favorite zines. I only had issues 3 and 5, and although I wanted to get all the back issues, I was a little strapped for cash so I could only afford to pick up #6, the newest issue. Professionally produced and edited, written by pros with real writing chops, and chocked full of interviews, trivia, hilarity, and fun, this is the zine for movie lovers. You’ll find footnotes like this one: “*Hitch also said that “the length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.” His last film was Family Plot, released in 1976 — coincidentally the very same year that the Big Gulp was first introduced.” 71 pages of 1/2 sheet, center-stapled, pure movie nerd-joy. (A+)
If you’d like for me to review your zine, mail a promotional copy to me at:
Robert Mitchell, P.O. Box 1322, Glen Allen, VA 23060-1322
My sainted father said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” I think that was good advice. So I don’t write bad reviews. If I don’t like your zine, I just won’t review it. That way there’s no bad karma, no negativity, and no assiness. Makes sense, right?
The Amazon Gambit
[In Part 1, The Amazon Withdrawal, our intrepid hero pulled all his eBooks from Amazon because he blamed the massive retailer for the demise of the corner bookstore. In Part 2, The Amazon Stupidity, the struggling writer realized that none of his objections were going to change where readers go to get their word fix. Part 3, The Amazon Gambit, opens with the writer offering all of his fiction books on Amazon, the most popular eBook marketplace on planet Earth.]
Well gang, didn’t want to, but I pretty much had to. Amazon, like the river from which it takes its name, is the biggest tributary on Earth, and the current there is strong. Sales of my non-fiction are getting better every day, but the fiction novels are stalled. Time to do something smart — namely go where the readers are.
Crow eaten. Foot removed from mouth and thumb from ass.
Get my fiction eBooks on your Kindle at Amazon
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Get my fiction eBooks for your Nook from Barnes & Noble
Get them in multiple formats from Smashwords
RVA Zinefest is Tomorrow
I’ll be at RVA Zinefest tomorrow! Come by, meet me in person, and buy some of my stuff. If you’re on a budget, you’ll be glad to know that I’ll also be giving some stuff away — and that admission to the event is free.
There will be over 60 of the most creative and fun people you’ll ever meet selling hundreds of zines, books, and other independent productions. Where else can you buy a book, read the first chapter during lunch break, and then go tell the actual author how much you’re liking it? (Try doing that at Barnes & Noble with a James Patterson book and let me know how that works out for you: “Hey guys — I don’t think James Patterson is actually here. Should I go up to the registers and ask somebody?”)
- Punk patches
- Shop rags
- Lead!
- Books
Putting the Heart in Horror

Spanish Moss on a Cypress tree, taken during a bayou tour the wife and I took. Classic horror stuff!
I don’t understand why there isn’t more heart in our horror books and movies. You can’t spit at anything in the genre without hitting tension, fear, dread, adrenaline, and gore. But finding more than a dash of real heart is pretty difficult.
That’s surprising to me when I think about how many of my favorite horror works have a gut-wrenching ribcage-smashing load of agonizing heart in them. By “heart” what I mean is fully developed relationships, feelings, caring, and love. You know, the stuff that’s such a nice counter-balance to tension, fear, dread, adrenaline, and gore? I wouldn’t give you a nickel for Saw, Hostel, or any of those heartless splatter flicks (see there, I didn’t even link their titles to IMDb).
As a kid I watched the original Frankenstein. The scene I can’t get out of my head is the one in which Karloff’s monster is playing with a little girl beside a pond. Here we have an innocent child, the one person in the entire village who is able to see beyond the monster’s appearance and give him a chance to prove himself harmless, sitting with the monster and taking turns tossing flower petals into the water. Thinking she’ll float too, when the petals run out the monster tosses her in. His reaction when she drowns is one of the most painful in my movie watching history.
I hope I don’t have to explain the dump truck load of heart that’s in The Exorcist. Love shines out of every character, which is why the movie pains the viewer at every turn. Then there’s Night of the Living Dead. When the little girl gets zombiefied, what really gets me is the mother’s unwillingness to admit that her child can’t be saved. And when the hero gets picked off at the end, it hurts because for the previous 90 minutes he’s been caring about everyone else.
The movie Pet Sematary pulls all the right heart strings. What father wouldn’t do everything possible to save his son? And how about Let the Right One In? A lonely, bullied boy’s childish crush grows into so much more, all against the backdrop of ever-growing tension and horror. Or 28 Days Later? This movie spends an hour making you love Frank (the brave and caring father masterfully played by Brendan Gleeson) only to have a raven’s single carnivorous peck take him away from us forever.
I guess my preference for heart with my horror explains why I’ve been very hard to please when it comes to horror books. I have enjoyed some Stephen King and Richard Matheson (Stir of Echoes, both book and movie, are out of this world), but most modern authors leave me cold. Give me Orwell and Kafka. McTeague by Frank Norris isn’t a tragedy, it’s horror. And one of my favorites.
Horror without heart is a whole lotta nothin’. That’s why, when I set out to write my slipstream horror books, I put in as much heart as the stories could bear. After all, you don’t want to go overboard when adding heart to your horror. You might end up with a love story or drama with a pale and sickly horror backdrop (and we all know a few examples of that).

















