Category Archives: Martial arts

My Craigslist Advertisement

I currently have an ad running on Craigslist because I’m looking to take on a few martial arts students 1-on-1, free of charge.  Why?  Because (a) I want to do something nice to help some people, and (b) I want to put my methods to the test on some difficult cases, and (c) I want some testimonials.

Note: If you’re interested in becoming my student, free of charge, I’m happy to take you on as a distance learning student.  Just shoot me an email at first.elder@cabalfang.com and we’ll get started.  And BTW, the coupon I emailed John is good until 3/1/16 of you want to take advantage of it.

Yesterday I got a reply to ad and, because I think it’s really interesting, I’m sharing it.  See below — here’s my ad, followed by the reply I received, and my reply to that reply.

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wpid-20150819_170226.jpg***Local Martial Arts Master Wants to Create Incredible Success Stories! ***

If you’re fat, unhappy, and/or spiritually unfulfilled, please know we have something in common. In 1986 I topped the scale at over 230 pounds on my 5’8″ frame. I was a grumpy, lazy, unhappy person with no spiritual life who could barely pay his bills.

I took up martial arts, and within three years I had lost 80 pounds of weight, turned my attitude around, and doubled my income. But something was still missing.

Over the next 25+ years, while I continued my martial arts practice, I became a “spiritual drunkard.” I drank deeply of many religions, staggering from one to the next. I went to a half dozen Christian churches of various denominations. I spent a year in the Latter Day Saints, several years as a Taoist, a several more as a Buddhist, and another year investigating Confucianism. I spent years studying and practicing Shamanism, and over five years practicing Wicca. I had a lot of adventures, I met many wonderful people, and I had many unforgettable experiences. But still something was missing.

Eventually I saw the pattern — I discovered what is deep inside every religion and every path — and I became whole. And I’d like to share everything I’ve learned with you.

*I’ll guide your training free of charge.* All you have to do is agree to give me a before picture, an after picture, and a brief testimonial that I can use on my website. It’s that simple.

I don’t know you yet. Your struggles might be with food, money, spirituality, mood, all of the above or something else entirely. I’d like to get to know you and show you how my program will get you on track.

You can be the person you’ve always wanted to be. Send me an email right now to get started. I can only take on a few students, so don’t delay.

***Adults 18 and up only need apply***

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On Tue, Feb 2, 2016 at 11:18 AM, John wrote:

So what was your aha moment? When did or rather why did you stop chasing “it”?

Thanks..interesting.

John

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On Tue, Feb 2, 2016 at 12:21 PM, <first.elder@cabalfang.com> wrote:

Hey John, thanks for your reply!

Remember those Venn Diagrams you did in school, the ones with overlapping circles that illustrate the commonalities between multiple sets of data?

Well, about 18 months ago I did an intensive, 5 month set of meditations, each accompanied by a corresponding acrylic painting on canvas. That project helped me metaphorically “see” a kind of Venn Diagram of the profound truths shared by Religion, Science, Magic and Common Sense.

The great Hermetic priests, scientists and philosophers, like Bruno, Newton and Mirandola, were the original human potentiality movement. They really ushered in the Renaissance, and they understood that enlightenment means the ability to see the world in four different ways — simultaneously and without contradiction. Those four ways are Gnostically, Magically, Scientifically, and Mystically, and they are exemplified in the famous Hermetic axiom, “To Know, to Will, to Dare; to Keep Silent.” I invite you to compare and contrast these to the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism — not on a surface level, but deeper. Much deeper.

This is Western Zen. This is the place where East meets West, where Religion Meets Science and where material needs and deeds intersect with spiritual desires, all without contradiction.

I stopped chasing “it” because I saw that “it” doesn’t want to be chased. “It” only wants me to be the best possible person I can be, to grow, to experience, to love, to evolve personally while I help humanity itself to evolve.

Life isn’t so much about what you do as how you do it. As Exupery said in Wind, Sand and Stars, “The meaning of life is not discovered; it is constructed.”

This was fun. Now, please, tell me a little about yourself!

Best,

~Mitch

P.S. Please accept this 33% off coupon for one purchase at PTDICE.com. Simply enter coupon code “FF99D” at checkout — and if you include your size in the special instructions I’ll send you a free t-shirt.

 

O2 Killer WOD

I inherited this O2 meter from my mother. It's fun to put this thing on at the end of a workout.

I inherited this O2 meter from my mother. It’s fun to put this thing on at the end of a workout.

I inherited an O2 meter from my mother.  It’s fun to put this thing on when you finish a workout.  See photo at right — It said 79%/160 bpm but by the time I got out my phone and snapped the picture, both numbers had quickly started to normalize.  You can get these things for about $50.00 at Walgreens.

If you’re into working out, oximeters are super for making sure that you keep your heart rate within safe limits, for downshifting into and maintaining optimal fat burning heart rate, etc. etc.  Lots cheaper than those fancy ones that you synch to your phone, wrist watch or other smart fitness tool.

Anyway, here’s the Cabal Fang WOD that sent my oximeter into a tizzy.

30 min. Heavy Bag Dumbbell Conditioner

Set timer for 8 x 2:00/1:00 and select two dumbbells each ≥ 10% body-weight.  Start timer.  Punch heavy bag with good form for 2:00.  When bell rings to start 1:00, pick up dumbbells and complete 13 Pump Curls.  Put down dumbbells and rest for remainder of 1:00.  Next round, kick heavy bag for 2:00 with good form and, when bell rings, pick up dumbbells and complete 13 Squats.  Repeat that 4 more times for a total of 10 rounds — that’s 65 Pump Curls, 65 Squats, and 30 mins of action.

Pot Luck: My Psychic Watch, Social Trees and WODs

Today’s post is a peculiar little potluck of nubbin ends.

Yesterday morning I got out my father’s watch and it gave me goosebumps.  Once a month or so I get out his watch and wear it when I want to look nice.  To my surprise, the watch had stopped at 5:05 AM.  This is the exact time that nurses went to check on my mother and found her to be deceased.   See photo set above.  You will see a photo of the watch and a screenshot of the bounced call where the nursing home tried to reach me a half hour later.  I don’t know what to say, so I’m moving on.

Tree Sketch '96

I sketched this tree on a lunch break back in 1996. Pentel Superball black ink on copy paper.

Also yesterday morning,  I read an article about Peter Wohlleben and his book The Hidden Life of Trees.  According the article,

“[T]rees in the forest are social beings. They can count, learn and remember; nurse sick neighbors; warn each other of danger by sending electrical signals across a fungal network known as the “Wood Wide Web”; and, for reasons unknown, keep the ancient stumps of long-felled companions alive for centuries by feeding them a sugar solution through their roots.”

 Amazing!  Said it before and I’ll say it again: trees are people too, treants are real, Druids had it right, and people who cut down trees because they don’t want to rake leaves should be pummeled about the head and shoulders with the handles of their axes.

Very very early yesterday morning I had a delightful workout.  Note:  Just because you don’t see a WOD post on this blog doesn’t mean I didn’t work out and/or that you can’t see what I’ve been doing.  My productivity log, which contains all my workouts, is a public Google Doc you can see here.

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I use PTDICE for workout inspiration and I take a picture of my dice to help me remember what I did. Just in case I forget before I get a chance to update my log.

Yesterday’s Cabal Fang WOD:¹

  • PTDICE² w/ #20 chain.  AMSAYC in 10 mins of 8 Full Stop Push-ups and 16 Squats (I finished 8 sets) with a 20 lb chain draped around your neck. Calisthenics are the shit.³
  • All-in Heavy Bag Drill.  Place one heavy bag on floor about 2 meters or 6 feet from a second, standing or hanging heavy bag.  Set timer for 8 x 2:00/1:00.  Start timer.  AMSAYC  of 10 max power shots to standing bag, 10 shots to floor bag from mount, lock and roll to bottom position, 10 more shots. Repeat until timer beeps.  Rest 1:00.  Do that 7 more times for a 23-minute sweat extravaganza (24 minutes if you count the final 1:00 rest, but why would you, because the workout is over at the end of Round 8, now isn’t it?)

FOOTNOTES:

  1. Cabal Fang is the martial art I founded in 2009 (check it out!) and “WOD” stands for “workout of the day.”
  2. PTDICE are for sale here.  Go get yourself some.
  3. If you like calisthenics, you might enjoy my Calisthenics eBook, The Calisthenics Codex (download it here in any format you like).  By the way,  it’s the #2 calisthenics eBook on Barnes & Noble.

The Hand of Benediction

Which hand do you use when blessing something — like crossing yourself, blessing a person or object, etc. — and how do you hold the fingers of said hand?  Why should anyone (especially me, since I’m not Catholic or Orthodox) even care?

Well, I have three reasons for seeking insight into this.  A) Very soon I expect to start pursuing some kind of certification for interfaith minister, so I feel I need to know this stuff.  B) I’m into Western Esotericism, I have rituals to do that include blessings and crosses, and I need to know how to hold my hand.  C) Western Esotericism involves pointing at stuff with wands and knives and stuff, and I really don’t like the symbolism.  I’d prefer to use a naked hand.

Use of the right hand seems to be pretty universal.  Finger position, must less so.

Wikipedia has an article on crossing yourself that provides some guidance, but I question the accuracy of the article.  They say that,

“In Russia, until the reforms of Patriarch Nikon in the 17th century, it was customary to make the sign of the cross with two fingers…The enforcement of the three-finger sign was one of the reasons for the schism with the Old Believers whose congregations continue to use the two-finger sign of the cross.”

And yet, if you look at Rasputin in the photo above, he looks like he’s doing some kind of modified tora guchi or Okinawan Karate tiger mouth strike.  Clearly not a two or three-fingered sign of benediction.

Most people I have seen crossing themselves use three fingers of their right hand, as if they are trying to pick up six grains of rice.   Why?  I have not a clue.  But, according to this article, the traditional hand of benediction in use by the Catholic Church today was invented because Pope Peter had nerve damage.

In the end, I don’t think it matters all that much, so I’m going with the relaxed-two-finger-point.  If anyone has reliable information on this topic, any salient input at all, even a strong opinion one way or the other, please comment below!

The Ziggurat Workout

ZiggI came up with this new thing I’m calling a ziggurat, and it really seems to be improving my endurance.  What is it?

Well, if you’re following this blog at all, you know what a pyramid is in workout terms — that’s when you perform an exercise(s) in increasing reps up to a peak, then back down to the beginning.  A full pyramid to 10 of Bodybuilders is 1 of each, 2 of each, 3, 4, 5, etc. up to 10 of each, then 9, 8, 7, 6, etc. down to 1.  That would be 100 Bodybuilders (and a decent little workout!).  A half pyramid to 10 would get you to the peak without the descent, a total of 55 reps.

A ziggurat is slightly different.  In architectural terms, a ziggurat is a stepped pyramid in the ancient Mesopotamian style, like my adorable little drawing up there at the top (you like that? I did that with Paint — booyah, in yo face with my mad art skills!).  In workout terms, what I’m calling a ziggurat is a stepped pyramid for time instead of for reps.  I use :30 (30 second) increments.

Here a couple of ziggurat examples:

Heavy bag Speed Ziggurat.  Punch and/or kick heavy bag as fast as you can for :30 then rest for :30.  Then 1:00/:30, followed by 1:30/:30, 2:00/:30, and finally 2:30/:30 and back down again.  Total = 16.5 minutes.

Ground ‘n’ Pound Power Ziggurat.  Put your heavy bag on the floor, assume mount position, and punch, hammer and elbow the bag as hard as you can for :30 then rest for :30.  Then 1:00/:30, followed by 1:30/:30, 2:00/:30, and finally 2:30/:30 and back down again.  Total = 16.5 minutes.

Try one.  They make you breathe like nobody’s business!

More Spiritual Evolution

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This is a painting I did a couple of years ago entitled “Homo vesica piscis” (Acrylic on canvas, 8″ x 10″)

Your Spiritual Evolution Starts Now” is one my more popular posts and also one of my personal favorites because, in one little 300-word essay, I express the seed of an incredible idea — a Unified Evolutionary Theory that encompasses both scientific and spiritual evolution.

What my theory expresses is simple.  Fish wanted food that was on land.  They splashed in the shallows, used their flippers to skip in the mud, and 65 million years later, they had legs.  Fish became amphibians which became reptiles which became mammals and now there are people.  In other words, you don’t walk around because you have legs.

You have legs because you want to walk around.  And you are not going to have wings unless and until you desire to fly.  This is immensely powerful stuff as it is.  But in this followup post I want to expand the idea somewhat.

Sure, the first fish who took it a little too far must’ve died flopping on dry land.  But there is nonetheless hope for each of us within a miraculous gestalt, a great and grand holistic process of which each of us is a part.

This great and grand process is about more than fish becoming amphibians becoming reptiles becoming mammals becoming humans.  It encompasses matter we normally consider inert and “non-living.”  Water and minerals, the so-called “primordial soup” of a billion years ago, produces monomers which become organic polymers which become amino acids which become microorganisms which become tiny creatures which become fish, and so on.   Matter has desire also.  It wants to live.

Matter wants to live not just as biological life but as cosmological life.  The dust of the universe wants to coagulate to form planets, and planets with enough mass want to become stars so they can illuminate other planets and enable.  Silicon wants to become chips, and chips want to produce artificial intelligence.

Everything in the universe wants to evolve, to become, to shine.

I’m definitely going to be reading Chardin’s “The Phenomenon of Man.” It’s next on my reading list.

Imagine my surprise to discover the work of French Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.  Chardin was a student of evolution and a paleontologist who was involved in the discovery of both the Piltdown Man hoax and the game changing Peking Man.   He also had some very interesting notions about the evolution of the universe, ideas that closely mirror the cascading realizations I’ve had over the last year or two, the ones I’ve expressed above.

Not at all surprisingly, many of Chardin’s writings were suppressed by the Catholic Church and were not published until after his death.  He calls his view the “Law of Complexity-Consciousness” and refers to the ultimate destination of the universe as the “Omega Point,” an idea that one could and should compare and contrast to Kurzweil’s “Singularity”.  Even more amazing, Chardin’s model is not all at odds with the Qabalistic model I’ve discussed before.

Humanity needs to realize this stuff, and realize it quickly, or else we are all going to go extinct on this little blue ball.  All of the work that went into this evolutionary journey over the last 4.5 billion years — the work of dust becoming planets and suns, the work of mineral water soup becoming proteins which became microorganisms, tiny critters, fish, reptiles, birds, and people —  will be wasted.

So many wonderful and miraculous ancestors worked so hard to get us here, and there is so much potential left in us, in this world, in all its inhabitants animal, vegetable and mineral.

How can we permit failure in carrying forward this torch?

5 Down ‘n’ Dirty Self-defense Tips for Seniors

Your chance of being attacked with a fist, box cutter, or pointed stick is debatable.  According to this U.S. Dept of Justice report, there is an 83% chance of being the victim of a violent crime at some point during your lifetime.  If you are elderly, let’s say over age 70, the same study says that your chances of being a victim at some point in your remaining years is 8% or about 1 in 12.

Your chances of being a victim are much greater if you are poor and or homeless. Note that statistics about crime vs. homeless people aren’t reliable because (a) sadly, most people don’t give a crap about homeless people and (b) homeless people are less likely to report crimes for fear of being victimized or jailed.   Here in the good ol’ U.S.A., which was once the land of opportunity, your chances of being poor and homeless are virtually 100%.  The median net worth of those aged 65 and over is about $75,000 bucks, most of which is probably equity in a primary residence.  Assisted living costs about $5,000 per month, nursing care about $9,000.  Which means when you can’t take care of yourself anymore, you have about 9 months before you’re homeless.

Now, here is the pisser, the bitch, the kick-in-the-crotch, down-and-dirty truth that you need to face right here and right now if you are going to stay safe when you get old.

Unless you take charge of your life right now, at some point you are going to be old, sick, homeless, and at high risk.   On the street.  So destitute that they won’t even have reliable statistics about what’s going to happen to you.

In your mind you are saying, “My family won’t let that happen to me” or “I’ve got Social Security” or “there’s always Medicaid.”

Stop kidding yourself.

Do you really want to saddle your kids with your care?  Before my mother and father passed away, I had been assisting in their care for over 10 years.  It exhausted me, and all I was doing was handling finances, paying bills, grocery shopping, occasionally cooking, visiting, shuttling to dialysis and doctor’s appointments, taking scary emergency phone calls at 1:00 AM, and so on.  I can’t imagine how hard it must be for those who have elderly relatives in adult diapers living in their homes.

Social Security pays very little,  and Medicaid will not kick in until you have assets less than $2,000.  You will have to sell everything you own in order to have a roof over your head.  And since there is a 5-year look back period, you can’t even give stuff to your kids.  Medicaid will find out and claw it back.  And remember, when you are “in the system” and on Medicaid, you have lost all control.  If you don’t have any elderly relatives “in the system” I encourage you to go see what Medicaid facilities look like.  Seeing these places will be a great motivator.

Face it now.  There is no cavalry coming over the hill.  You are on your own.  Here are my recommendations.

  1. Take care of your body.  100% of human bodies fail catastrophically, resulting in death.  All you can do is get fit and stay that way as long as you can.  Lift weights twice per week to improve bone density and exercise aerobically at least twice per week for cardiovascular health.  Quit smoking and drinking and maintain a healthy BMI.  Get check-ups and take advantage of preventative healthcare benefits.
  2. Buy a home and get it paid for.  Interest rates aren’t going to stay low forever.  If you don’t own a home already, buy one now.  Slash your expenses (I drive a 15-year-old truck and buy my clothes at Goodwill) to free up extra income so you can make extra mortgage payments.   Get a 15 year mortgage instead of a 30 year.  The sooner the house is paid for the better.
  3. Save, save, save.  As much as you can.  Sock it away like crazy.  Once your house is all paid up, take the money you used to spend on a mortgage and sock it into savings (if you’re old already) or a 401K or IRA (if you’re not old yet).  People always say they can’t save because they don’t make enough money.  I call bullshit.  There’s always something you can cut out in order to make room for savings.  Eat out less, be less fashionable, etc.
  4. Plan, plan, plan.   I recently met a really knowledgeable attorney named Shawn Majette who has a fantastic website with tons of great information for people who want to protect their assets and generally take care of themselves and/or their elderly relatives.  Check it out.
  5. Look into a Long Term Care Insurance policy from a reliable company.  This might not be worth your while if you’re over 40 because the older you get the higher the premiums get, but if you’re young it may be an option.  Do the math first.  If you’re aged 30 and the premium is $175/month, you might be better off putting that $175/mo. into a 401K where you could reasonably expect that investment to accrue to the tune of $200,000 by age 65.  Your call.  If you get one, read the fine print.  Make sure that it doesn’t have some ridiculous lifetime max.  My Mom’s had a $60,000 lifetime max and a $120 daily max which seemed like a ton when she got it, but when she needed it, it was a fart in a windstorm.  Better than nothing for sure, but hardly gangbusters.  Check the exclusionary period (the delay before it kicks in), the qualifications for payout, what it will pay for, etc.

Good luck people.  Getting old sucks.

Romaine Tacos and A WOD That’ll Fry Your Wontons

American Asian Romaine Tacos

Chicken Romaine Tacos with a side of cucumbers.  Sliced cukes, carrots, celery sticks, etc. help keep from reaching for tortilla chips, potato chips, etc.

It’s been a while since I put up one of my quick-n-dirty, four-ingredients-or-less recipes.  So let me show you what I had for dinner one night last week and then give you a WOD that will fry your butt into a crispy wonton.

Chicken Romaine Tacos

  • Fresh, all natural or free range chicken tenders
  • Romaine lettuce leaves
  • Sriracha mustard (I use Kroger sweet hot mustard)
  • Mayonnaise (I use Duke’s Olive Oil Mayo in the squirt bottle)
  • Salt and pepper to taste

Spray a nonstick frying pan (or griddle) with oil and turn on medium heat.  Put chicken on, salt and pepper liberally, and set timer for 4 mins.  While chicken is cooking, rinse lettuce leaves and pat dry.  When timer beeps, flip chicken, salt and pepper liberally, and set timer for 3 mins.  Wash, peel, decorate and slice cucumbers to suit your fancy.  When timer beeps again, check the fattest tender with a meat thermometer and make sure it says 155 F.  If it does, put chicken on a plate to rest and reach 160 F (2 or 3 mins).  While you wait, put a stripe each of mustard and mayo in each leaf and put a fan of cukes on each plate.  When the chicken has rested, slide a tender or two into each leaf and you’re ready to eat.

The Fried Wontons WOD

  • Weights — 5 x 10 of Shrugs, Squat Press, Sit-ups, Goblet Squats
  • Calisthenics — AMSAYC* in 8 mins of 8 ea. Staggered Push-ups, Side Crunch, Zombie Squats, Full Stop Push-ups, and Twisters.  If you don’t get through 5 sets in 8 mins, tack on 100 Squats.
  • Kicks — Heavy bag Strike Count Drill.  4 x 1:00/:30 AMAYC* with Right Leg Roundhouse. If strike count for 4th round is less than the 1st, do 100 Squats. Repeat with Left Leg Roundhouse.  Again, if strike count for 4th round is less than 1st, do 100 Squats.
  • After this you should pretty much be fried crispy.

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* AMSAYC = “As many sets as you can” and AMAYC = “As many as you can.”

How to Dry Shoes, Rock-Paper-Scissors, Reviews and More

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Once in a while I end up with lots of odds and ends, none of which is worth a whole post on its own.  So I throw them all into one big post and call it a grab bag.

How to Dry Tennis Shoes in the Dryer

Want to dry your tennies but can’t stand the BAM-BUMBLE-DUM-THUNK?  Tie your shoes together with one big fat bow.  Hang them over the dryer door, shoes on the inside, bow on the outside.  Hold them in place as you gently close the door on the laces.  The knot will keep them from slipping down and banging around.  Works like a charm.

Rock-Paper-Scissors

Scissors cut paper and paper covers rock.  And yet rock smashes scissors.  Kind of like the way Hillary beats Bernie and Bernie beats Trump.  And yet Trump smashes Hillary.  While you ruminate on that for a minute, consider that Bernie Sanders is the first candidate to say on national TV that the biggest problem facing the world is climate change, which means that’s he’s the only candidate with enough sense to pour piss out of a boot.  And then make sure that you, and your kids, and grandma and gramps (who haven’t voted since Eisenhower, for god’s sake), and anybody else you can possibly persuade, all go out and vote for Bernie in the Democratic primary.  Seriously. 

Good Movies I’ve Seen Recently

You are not going to believe me, but I’m telling you that American Ultra was actually a very original and entertaining movie.  I thought it was funny and yet touching, silly and yet intelligent.  The only thing I found annoying was the 3 minute epilogue, which contradicts the anti-establishment message of the previous 90 minutes and spoils the mood.  Ignore that and it’s 7/10 stars.

I really enjoyed the SyFy original series Childhood’s End.  It’s more or less faithful to the book by Arthur C. Clarke, warts and all. In other words, neither the book nor the series is perfect, but if you’re an armchair philosopher you’ll love it.  If you’re a Doctor of Philosophy, you’re going to pick book and/or movie apart, so just go watch 2001: A Space Odyssey instead.

Singing About the Flood in Ancient Sumerian 

The Flood is the self-described “first-ever CD of new music sung entirely in Sumerian and Babylonian” by the Lyre Ensemble, a collaborative project by composer and singer Stef Conner, instrument builder and harpist Andy Lowings, and producer Mark Harmer.”

(I saw it first on Chas Clifton’s blog.  Thanks Chas!)

 

2015 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,000 times in 2015. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.