Category Archives: Writing

Gods of Egypt Betrayed

Posted on November 25, 2015 | Leave a comment

This is Set. Does this look like Gerard Butler to you?  Is Gerard Butler the first name that pops into your head when you think about the right actor for the job?

Here we go again.  As usual, Hollywood thinks that actual mythology — despite the fact that it’s thousands of years old and still influencing culture the world over — isn’t good enough.  It has to be improved upon, punched up, super-sized and apparently bleached.  And so, rather than exploring the actual myths, in the upcoming film Gods of Egypt, we will instead follow the exploits of a human boy trying to put Horus back on his pedestal.  Or something.

Yawn.

And, what’s more, this human boy and all of the “gods” he will be interacting with (save one token magical negro) will be portrayed by white actors.

Yack.

I’m so disappointed with director Alex Proyas, who stunned me with The Crow (’94) and Dark City (’98).  Sure, he really mucked up I, Robot (’04) and but bit off more than he could chew with Knowing (’09).  But he was born in Alexandria for Pete’s sake, and I’ve seen what he can do when he’s on point.

Well, at least I’m not alone in my distaste — here’s a taste of the backlash.  And here’s the trailer.  Prepare to be so revolted that you actually have to press a hankie to your nose and swallow.

If I was casting this movie, these would be my picks:

Edi Gathegi as Set (he’s superb as Solomon on “Blacklist”)

Amr Waked as Horus (loved this guy in “Lucy”)

Emmanuelle Béart as Hathor

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Did You Know…? (And a WOD)

Posted on November 18, 2015 | Leave a comment

First your Cabal Fang Workout of the Day, and then a little bout of “Did you know?”

The theme of today’s WOD is is grappling, a.k.a. the clinch, a.k.a. stand-up wrestling, and the workout itself is a puke-inducing two-parter as follows:

  1. Choose a sandbag of appropriate weight (I used at #20)  and set timer for 10 mins.  Complete as may sets as possible of 8 each: Hop Push-ups (alternating hands on sandbag, on knees if you must), Flutter Kicks (while holding sandbag up with elbows locked), and Split Squats (sandbag on shoulder).  Take as few 12-second breaks as you need to finish.
  2. Grappling Conditioner #2.  Set timer for 3 x 3:00/1:00 and square up against your heavy bag.  For the 3:00, splay, punch x2, splay, punch x4, splay, punch x6, etc. up to splay, punch x10.  Start over and repeat as many sets as you can until 3:00 is up.  For the 1:00 so-called “break,” grab heavy bag with a palm-to-palm grip and squeeze with all your might, making sure you are applying sword-bone forearm pressure (if you are a visual learner, video below).  Repeat twice more for a total of 3 rounds, 12 mins total. Take as few 12-second breaks as you need to avoid throwing up.

Now for a  little “Did you know?”  Did you know…

  • That I’ve been maintaining a Productivity Log since January of 2012 that contains all my workouts and various other personal activities, and that it’s a treasure trove of workout ideas and inspiration?
  • That I have six books to my credit — two non-fiction martial arts books, one non-fiction fitness book, and three supernatural romance novels (which are currently on pre-order as a bundle)?
  • That I designed some one-of-a-kind fitness dice and wrote a whole heap of personal improvement pamphlets that are available over at PTDICE.com — and that I include a free t-shirt with every order?
  • That in 2009 I founded a really cool martial art called Cabal Fang?
  • That there’s a Temple of Cabal Fang that contains, among other things, a library of over 100 esoteric books, most of which are cataloged here?

 

 

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B&N, Crapazon, and Paper Books

Posted on November 17, 2015 | 3 comments

What does it mean when Barnes & Noble, the largest bookstore chain on the planet, becomes the underdog?  I guess it means that instead of bemoaning the death of the locally-owned corner bookstore, as I have been for years, soon I’ll be bemoaning the death of the Big Box Bookstore.

Barnes & Noble is airing this advertisement starting today.  Produced by Barnes & Noble founder and current chairman Leornard Riggio, the plan is to try and get some customers in the door this holiday season.

I hope it works.  According to a recent piece in the Wall Street Journal, B&N’s retail revenue declined 1.7% in the first quarter, digital sales fell 28%, and traffic at the Barnes & Noble website was smaller in September than in it was in September of 2013.

Crapazon

A little inside joke for the Firefly fans out there.

Meanwhile, Amazon (hereinafter referred to as ‘Crapazon’) continues its quest to become the real life version of Blue Sun Corporation.  Here’s a tidbit for you: Crapazon spent 774 million dollars on advertising in 2014.  On advertising.

If you don’t think Amazon is evil — and I don’t use that word lightly — you should read this article.  According to the article, one employee said that “Nearly every person I worked with, I saw cry at their desk.”  A former human resources director said that employees who suffered from cancer, miscarriages, and other personal physical and emotional traumas were treated unfairly and edged out.  And, in July of this year, these sons-o’-bitches surpassed Walmart as the most valuable retailer in the country, with a market valuation of $250 billion, and Forbes deemed CEO Jeff Bezos the fifth-wealthiest person on earth.

Screw Bezos and the juggernaut he rode in on.

I like paper books.  Sure, I have a Nook eReader.  I like it and I use it a fair amount, and my books sell pretty well on the that platform.  But I love paper books.  Real, live, actual paper.

I used to spend lunch breaks browsing at the Books-a-Million near my job, or run in and pick up a book on the way home from work.  When it closed I switched to Borders.  They had a nice cafe where you could buy a book, have a muffin and sip some coffee.  They closed too.

Nowadays I prefer going to Book People, but it’s kind of a drive, it’s too far to go there on lunch break, and there’s nothing else in the area.  So I sometimes go the the B&N by the mall.

I like walking the aisles of a bookstore.  But what the hell do I know.  I also like video stores and drive-in movies.

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The Tentacle Porn Reclassification (and your WOD)

Posted on November 6, 2015 | Leave a comment
Here's the cover to my new supernatural romance eBook bundle. Pretty, huh?

Here’s the cover to my new supernatural romance eBook bundle. Pretty, huh?

Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

For some reason I had this idea that my books would fare better if reclassified as Supernatural Romance instead of as Horror.   Maybe it had been preconceived notions or simple machismo that had clouded my eyes before,  but I had the realization that my novels were actually romances.

So that’s where I put them.

And this morning I scoped out the competition, and what do I see?  Books with titles that include words like BBW, Sexy, Wild, Penetration, Lust, Erotic, and so on. I’m up against a bundle called “Monster Lovers” which apparently contains “Tentacles, Demons and Slenderman, Nonhuman, Kinky, Fetish, Supernatural, Impregnation, Pagan, Paranormal Erotica.”

Wonderful.  I mean, to each his own.  I’m not hating — read what you want.  I’m just a little disappointed because I had hoped to find my books lined up with similar books.  Is that so much to ask?

If you want to pre-order out my Supernatural/Paranormal Romance Bundle — which contains non-explicit sex between caring partners but no tentacle porn — here are the links.

Calis Codex cover final for web

I also wrote a calisthenics book that ‘s selling like hotcakes. Gitcha some.

And now for your WOD:

  • AMSAYC in 11 minutes of 8 Fingertip Push-ups, 8 Twisters, and 8 (per leg ) Front Lunges.
  • 4 x 3:00/1:00 of Weapon Combos vs. air.  Go hard or go home — full power practical combos from close to long range.    Combo Example with Cane: Two-handed bracing strike to face, two-handed poke x3 (high, low, mid-section), clearing maneuver x3, overhand figure 8 x3.  Alternate hands/stances.

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Don’t Hone the Message

Posted on November 2, 2015 | 4 comments

wpid-20140824_122343.jpgMarketing.  The word issues from my mouth like moldy egg shells and coffee grounds falling through a slit in a garbage bag.  Like most things that are gross and now make my skin crawl, I once had a love affair with Marketing.

I wanted to sell more stuff.  So I started cozying up to marketing concepts.  I started reading about marketing and thinking about marketing.  I even met with a couple of prospective marketing managers.  I never took either of them on, but both of them said what the Marketing 101 books and blogs say.  That I needed to define my niche, speak to my target audience, and hone my message.

I started doing that, and I put a ton of time into it.  I didn’t sell any more stuff.  I just wasted  lots of time that I could’ve spent writing, and what I did write lacked my unique vision.    As Kurt Vonnegut said, “If you open a window to the world, your story will catch cold.”

I’m done “honing my message.”  Honing my message actually dulls my edge.  I’m a martial artist and mystic who writes non-fiction books on martial arts and fitness and the occasional paranormal romance novel (my newest bundle is on pre-order until Dec. 1st).

Nowadays I just ask myself, “What is the thought or idea that you and only you are capable of expressing?”  My uniqueness is the sizzle on my steak, the stank that draws the flies, the milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard.  Ooops, I think I got a little carried away on that last one.  I do not have or want any boys in my yard.

What I mean is that if I spent my life trying to be the popular kid and sold a zillion books, then I’d just die wondering if the stuff I really wanted to write could have ever sold.

I don’t want to be James Patterson.  I want to be me.  Me is all I got.

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A Filthy Little Workout

Posted on October 27, 2015 | Leave a comment
Calis Codex cover final for web

If you like this workout, you might like my eBook “The Calisthenics Codex.” Click this pick to check it out.

Yesterday I was so busy talking about the new three book bundle I have out on preorder right now that I forgot to share the Cabal Fang Workout of the Day.  So, without further delay, here it is…

  • Dumbbells. 5 x 12 of Military Press, Rear Lunges, 2-Handed Tricep Ext., Ripcords.  Rest 30 secs between sets (this should take 15 – 20 minutes).
  • Rest 1 minute.
  • Deck of Cards Original Combo. Remove Jokers, shuffle deck, and place face down on floor.  Flip top card.  Black = Push-ups, red = Squats.   Hold last position while flipping next card — deep squat or one-handed plank.  Aces = 10, face cards = 12.  Finish the whole deck and it’s 200 Push-ups and 200 Squats.  Finish it faster than 20:50 and you have me beat.

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My New Romance eBook Bundle — Pre-ordering Now Everywhere

Posted on October 26, 2015 | 3 comments
Here's the cover to my new supernatural romance eBook bundle. Pretty, huh?

Nice cover, huh? Pre-order now.  Price goes up to $7.99 on Dec 1st.

Deep realization: my three novels are actually in the Supernatural Romance genre rather than the Horror or Supernatural Thriller category.  Are they creepy, weird, and strange?  Yes.

Are they “Rated R?”  Yes.  There’s sex, violence, monsters, swearing, guns, stab wounds, blood, corpses, and kinds of stuff that aren’t in your grandma’s romance books.  But that’s not what they’re really about.

These books are about love, growth, and transformation.  They’re about overcoming the dark forces that seem to be trying to drag us down into negativity, mediocrity, boredom, and sloth, or even further down into prejudice, violence, and hate.  My books are about overcoming gravity and finding love.

Why am I just realizing this now?  Give credit to my ongoing sublimation, my continual confrontation of the shadow, or just thank the teachings of Hermes Trismegistus.  But somehow I was able to clear away the mask and see that I wrote three romance novels that some people seem to really like.  Here’s what some reviewers said about the books in this series:

  • “A good read — Love the end!”
  • “A terrific read…is it real or just fiction? Cannot wait for the next book to come out.”
  • “It puts your belief between fact and fiction. You begin to second guess what you know as fact.”

Save $2.00 (and support your local writer) by pre-ordering the set for $5.99.  Price goes up to $7.99 on Dec. 1st.  That’s three complete eBooks, over 200,000 words of reading pleasure, for just $5.99.  If it was any cheaper it’d be free.

Pre-order at iTunes

Pre-order at Barnes & Noble

Pre-order at Smashwords in any eBook format

Pre-order for your KOBO eReader

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Three Realizations and Your WOD

Posted on October 21, 2015 | Leave a comment

It’s funny how, if you don’t give up, your spiritual and intellectual vision gets ever more acute and insightful.  I think that’s what they call wisdom?  Anyway, I’ve had several significant realizations lately, all of which coalesced after reading the Alan Watts book and the D. W. Hauck book.

And those realizations, in no particular order, are:

  1. What I actually study should properly be called “the ageless wisdom” or “the perennial philosophy.”  “Occult” is a stupid choice of words that’s really off-putting to 99% of the population.  The word “occult” is damaged goods, now suitable only for horror films.  Kind of like Tsuguharu Foujita’s mustache immediately reminds everyone of a certain genocidal maniac.  I’ve talked about poor word and symbol choice before.  How could I be so dumb?
  2. Cabal Fang, the martial art I founded in 2008, isn’t really a Western martial art as much as it is a world martial art.  East and West are increasingly meaningless distinctions.  Just because it was born in the Western hemisphere doesn’t mean it’s Western, necessarily.
  3. I’ve been setting my sights too low.  Why do I always allow myself to be hammered flat onto the anvil of mediocrity?  I do not want to write books that a few people enjoy or that make a few bucks.  I want to write books that change the world, and I will not write another book unless I think it is going to be the best of it’s kind that has ever been written. 

wpid-20151021_070131.jpgAnd now for your WOD, which is a “mega-Tabata” that will take you 24 minutes.

  • Part 1 — Dumbbells.  Select dumbbells each no less than 10% of your body weight.  Set timer for 24 x :20/:10 and cycle through Squat/Press, Shrugs, and Goblet Squats 8 times.  Each round complete as many as you can during the :20 and rest for the :10.
  • Part 2 — Static Slow Kicks.  Set timer for 24 x :20/:10 and cycle through Lead Leg Roundhouse, Lead Leg Side Kick, and Lead Leg Push Kick.  Change stance and do it again.   Repeat 3 more times.  Execute kicks very slowly and with perfect form (no more than 5 or 6 kicks per :20 round).

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Where to Meet Me in Person (and a Grammar Rule)

Posted on October 8, 2015 | Leave a comment
wpid-20141004_145522.jpg

This is a picture of me sitting behind my table at Richmond Zinefest last year. I’ve been doing this event since 2010. It rocks.

This Saturday 10/10/15 you will find me at Richmond Zinefest.   If you’re in RVA, a.k.a. the City of the Monuments, a.k.a. Richmond, Virginia, USA, please come out.  This self-publishing, DIY, hippie, indie, anarcho-punk event has grown significantly over the years, and 2015 looks to be the biggest yet.  Admission is free.  I will be tabling again this year, and I have many new publications and products.  Come buy my shit.

The 14th Mansion by Robert Mitchell

This is the cover of the third and final book of the Montenegro Cycle. I’m really proud of this novel. It’s creepy yet sweet, dark yet uplifting, and in some ways a transgressive tale. I bet you’d like it.

And check this out: I’m working on a bundle.  I wrote three books, a loosely associated trilogy of sorts, that really haven’t been selling.   I had this realization that, at their heart, these books are all romances.  Why was I was billing them as metaphysical horror or slipstream?  Maybe because  subconsciously I didn’t want to admit that I wrote a few romance books?  Heck if I know.  People are stupid, and I’m a people.  Anyway, I decided to put them together in a 3-in-1 eBook bundle and label them appropriately.  My formatter is working feverishly as we speak.  It’s going to be “The Montenegro Cycle – Three-Book Spooky Romance Bundle” and it’s going to sell for $5.99 (40% savings over purchasing singly).

wpid-20150907_090029.jpg

This lovely painting will be for sale at my Zinefest table this year. Want it? Sure you do!

And now for your grammar rule of the day.  Did you know that there is no single, accepted, according-to-Hoyle title capitalization rule?  How do you know if Ray Bradbury’s book should be called “Something Wicked This Way Comes” or “Something Wicked this way Comes” or “SoMeThInG WiCkEd ThIs WaY cOmEs”?  Well, the most common titling form seems is as follows, which I have creatively distilled into this easily remembered alliterative convention: first, final, fundamental, four or more.  In other words, the first word, the last word, any fundamental words (nouns, adjectives, adverbs), and any word with four or more letters should be capitalized.  Dig it.  Or, if you prefer, just capitalize every single word like some kind of weirdo.

Have a fun day and good weekend.  Hope to see you on Saturday.

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Discovering Alan and Oscar at the Bookstore with a Banana

Posted on September 30, 2015 | 2 comments

wpid-20150926_142714.jpgOver the weekend I went to Book People, my favorite bookstore.  By the way, this Oscar Wilde quote has been over the counter for years (photo at right): “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

wpid-20150928_045014.jpgAnyway, I was looking for a good book, something philosophical, mystical, thought provoking.  What I found was a little book by the name of Nature, Man and Woman by Alan Watts.  This is a bombshell of a book, one of those books so thick with excellent points, so devoid of fluff, that if you try to highlight “the good stuff” you end up highlighting the entire book (that’s what happened to me, so I just put the highlighter down).

I really hope you’ll give it a read, so I won’t spoil it with a complete review.  What I will do is throw a taste at you, in the form of a representative quote.

“For it is strictly incorrect to think of the progressive cultures as materialistic, if the materialist is one who loves concrete materials.  No modern city looks as if it were made by people who love materials.   The truth is rather that progressive man hates material and does everything possible to obliterate its resistances, its spatial and temporal limits.  Increasingly his world consists of end-points, of destinations and goals with the times and spaces between them eliminated by jet propulsion.  Consequently there is little material satisfaction in reaching the goal, since a life full of goals and end-points is like trying to abate one’s hunger by eating merely the two precise ends of a banana.  The concrete reality of the banana is, on the contrary, all that lies between the two ends, the journey as it were, all that jet propulsion cuts out.”

~Alan W. Watts, Nature, Man and Woman (New York, Vintage Books (1970) p. 16-17)

That’s all I got for now.  Have great day.  Start by eating the entire fucking banana, except for the skin of course.

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